gabedouglas

so there’s a doldrum life hits sometimes. like when you realize you’re not really sure if you want to use your college degree to make lame brochures or someone’s coffee or identity’s for the latest craze. you’re not really sure if minneapolis is all it’s cracked up to be, especially coming into year number two.
but it’s life. it’s the journey. and i’m still glad to be on it.
the vars is getting long-winded and bloated. i didn’t work any days this week and i’m working all weekend. and missing two festivals IN MPLS because i didn’t work at all this week, so I didn’t make any money doing nothing all these nights, so I feel compelled to work some Rooney show instead of seeing bands I want to see.
I now have to sign some form that tells me how to do my job (the way I currently do it). I’m not sure if it’s a spit in the face or a kick in the teeth or a procedural red-taped bureaucracy, but I am sure it’s something that’s completely unwarranted and it disheartens me. I would like to think i’m an above average sound engineer and an excellent lighting guy, but I’m not getting anything on that account. I’m getting stepped over again and again and again.
I still love music.
Romantica had a good set. I liked all their new stuff better than their old stuff. I also enjoyed the acoustic strip downs. Although he sang songs of places I’ve never been. Sang of girls that aren’t even a reality to me. These figments of imagination that manifest themselves daily in glances and grins. I couldn’t relate to it at all. Because I’m in Minnesota. I’m in America.
I’m going to Tennessee next week to get a rejuvenation. Speaking of, Sean McPherson has a band called Big Trouble that does jazz covers and is amazing. Saw them at the Kitty and it was great. If I were to make a movie and have tons of night driving scenes with long exposures and blurred light lines, they’d be the soundtrack hands down for every single driving scene.
Maybe I’m not pushing these snowballs of momentum hard enough. Maybe I should just get out the paddles and quit waiting for these breezes that are supposed to be coming. Maybe these are more corners I’m too timid to turn, instead of the rolling hills that I think life is made of. Maybe it’s all corners and angles. Maybe enough with the maybes and start making the happenings happen.
This was just a gut-check and check-up from the neck-up brought to myself digitally.

the happiness relapse.
Today I got to lay down on my bed and listen to a few albums I hadn’t had a chance to listen to yet, still doing it. I got to feel that exhaustion of working doubles the last 12 days creep in and bring me in and out of daydreaming, in and out of consciousness. Feeling rested and ready and waking up to a creaking singer/songwriter croon and the sound of rain right outside my window is refreshing.

So thank you world, I am ready for some more time with you.